20 best answers to "Why are you still single?"

Christmas is in 2 weeks. Are you dread of answering the famous question yet?
Here are the best answers to this question. Pick the one you like.

Singles’ holiday survival guide

This one is my personal favorite: “Just lucky, I guess.” And I'll add this one to the list: "Do you really want to know? How much time do you have?" This one should protect you for a few years.

What would be your answer?

It's not you, it's me

An interesting read about how the girls can date like a man. The antidote of the phoneaphobia syndrome.

Compliment the man.
Check!

Confidence.
Check!

Hit and run.
...More like hit and wait for me.

No sex in the first 90 days.
That's new. Not sure if I can do that. lol

US Best Cities for Singles

The complete list from Forbs based on Culture, Nightlife, Singles, Job Growth, Living Cost , and Online Dating rankings.

The top ten are: Atlanta, San Fransisco, Dallas, Minneapolis, Washington DC, Seattle, Boston, NYC, Orlando, Phoenix.

Of the top 10, I've only been to half of them, as a single, mostly for business. I'm just curious about the accuracy of the result based on the methodology used for the final ranking.

All factors carry the same weight. May not be ideal but reasonable. High ranking in Culture, Job Growth, Living Cost are obviously the measurement of the city. However, the Single factors may not represent the reality.

Nightlife: It doesn't apply to all the singles out there, including me; And I heard enough people claiming that they are tired of the bar/club scene.

Online Dating: The number of active profiles in each city listed on ONE dating site: Match.com. What happened to all the other singles who happened to be on one of the other hundreds of dating sites? Guess they don't count.

Number of singles: Above 15 and never married. What about divorced people?
Are these cities the best places to find your other half, or places where single people simply do not want to get married?!

Any thoughts?

singles, abandoned market?

Ok, here is what happened.
I received a call from a big airline mileage plan. They are organizing a focus group event. Which means they invite their target customers, figure out how to make them happy, and how to attract more customers just like them. You spend 2 hours with them so they can pick your brain. In return, they pay you $70 cash for your precious time and sharing your thoughts with them.

I thought, nice move. This company apparently care about their customers. It would be fun for me to make myself heard. I'd also love to observe how it is conducted because I facilitate the same kind of workshops in my full time job. Plus, I'm getting paid to do it. Sweet. After I found out about the time and location, and the caller confirming my willingness to participate, the qualification process started over the phone.

First question: "How many people are staying in the same household with you including yourself?"
"I live alone."
And that first question became also the last question. She thanked me for my time and quickly ended the call before I could say "Does my dog count?" although I don't have one.

Obviously, I am not one of their customers that they care enough to listen to. And the only reason was that I AM SINGLE. I had a similar experience with a travel agent. They spared me for a 2 hour hard-selling session because I am single. That I didn't mind. But who knows how many companies out there are crossing out "singles" from their desired customer list. Looks like the only ones who really really care for the singles are the dating companies, with a promise to move us to the more desired market section.

They are missing out, big time. I am the most traveled consultant in my team, Monday to Friday for months, because I'm single. I take at least two overseas trips every year, because I can simple pack up and go. I know I'm not alone among my single friends. But seriously, are we categorized as abandoned market?

Marriage benefits health more so for men than woman

I thought my last post on "Why it's NOT rubbish being single" was a strong statement and final answer to the question. Apparently, a research soon to be released by Hui Lu from Michigan State University with some interesting facts based on National Health Interview Survey data from a 30-year period from 1972 to 2002

Consider this:
Marriage tends to make people healthier, happier and richer, and that's especially true for men.

Hear that? Go get married, guys. It's for your own good.

Self-reported health status of never-married adults increased significantly over time. At the same time, the self-reported health status of married women also increased, so the gap between married and never-married women's health stayed about the same.

Still a long way to go, single girls.

However, never-married men narrowed the health gap between themselves and married men.

Hope this won't make the number of men who want to commit even smaller.

People who had been married in the past, including those widowed or divorced, reported declines in their overall health status.

I wonder if there is data comparing never married vs the divorced vs the re-married. Does that complicate things even more?

The conclusion: "Married people are still healthier than unmarried people, but the gap between the married and never-married is closing, especially for men." That said, one last thing to take away from the research is: “encouraging marriage in order to promote health may be misguided.” (oh, well.)

Why it's NOT rubbish being single

The shocking article (at least to me) is making a blunt statement that being single sucks!
Here are the reasons, and my rebuts:

No holiday in summer.
True. I actually had to work over the weekend to finish the half-done work on my plate left by people who took off for vacation. But I can take off some other time, when there are less tourists everywhere, when hotels and air tickets are cheaper, when everybody else is busy catching up.

Singles live in their heads.
As if it's a bad thing. It really depends on what is in your head. If you choose to fill it with horrific thoughts and painful memories, I doubt that you'll be happy with anyone else.

You can't admit to others that you hate your life.
Same thing applies to some of the married people, doesn't it? There are always problems. When you no longer deal with the trouble of cooking for one, you are trapped in the routine of cooking for everyone at the fixed time, 3 times a day.

Many single people are mad.
Oh, my! I'm not sure if my act of disagreeing with this point is proof enough that I'm insane myself. People who are mad usually do not see that themselves. Right?

"If only there was some service that would reliably predict when any period of non-voluntary solitude would end, it would cut out the anxiety and allow single people to enjoy the good things about their lives."
I agree. I'd like to use the same service to predict anything in the future, like tomorrow's lottery number or the next breakup. Before this service is available, I'll enjoy my life as it is, just like all the everybody else, singles or not.

Traveling alone? Myth and Truth

Summer trips, you planned to go alone assuming that it would be a great way to find your ideal partner, right? Not according to David McKechnie , whose spent a week free of charge at a five-star boutique hotel in Turkey on a singles holiday on assignment. Here are some of the mythes and truths revealed from his experience:

Myth: You appear independent and brave when traveling alone.

Truth: You may be conceived as someone who is such a loner that nobody else would want to go on a trip with.

Myth: You expect that you will meet the love of your life.

Truth: "You're more likely to have a fling with a waiter," according to a veteran of single holidays.

Myth: You can freely date with whoever you find attractive.

Truth: You can under such pressure as everyone is watching your attempt to make a move.

Myth: You will get to meet many eligible guys in one vacation.

Truth: There are usually double the number of women compared to men.

Myth: Nightshift which includes every body is the perfect place to check out the potential partner.

Truth: It can be painfully boring and superficial even with the ice-breakers.

Despite the disappointment, many single travelers are regulars. And occasionally, there are some romantic encounters during the trip. So, do you game?

Mr. Right in 6 weeks - week 5 and 6

A few things make sense to me in week 5 and 6, while others surprised me:

1. Be yourself

2. Don't ever think he is your Mr. Right, so you won't fall head over toe

3. Expect nothing - No expectation, no frustration.

4. Connected or not, say 'Yes' to 'it'. (Can you guess what 'it' is? hint, it starts with 'S', not 'M')

The book has been completed, the journey has just started.

PS. One of the pick up lines is "I like your shirt."
I heard that before! It was in a bookstore. My Mr. Wrong and I was wondering around browsing books in different sections. Then suddenly, "'Nice shirt." I looked up and found a lady smiling gracefully at him. He said "Thank you." with a smile of victory. It sure felt good receiving a compliment from a stranger. I totally didn't realize it was a pick up line. Silly me. Now I wonder what could have happened if I was not around...

Facts on Singles from US Census

The US Census Bureau Issued Facts for Features for Unmarried and Single Americans Week: Sept. 21-27, 2008

"National Singles Week" was started by the Buckeye Singles Council in Ohio in the 1980s to celebrate single life and recognize singles and their contributions to society. The week is now widely observed during the third full week of September (Sept. 21-27 in 2008) as "Unmarried and Single Americans Week,". In this edition of Facts for Features, unmarried people include those who were never married, widowed, or divorced, unless otherwise noted.

Do you qualify as a single?

If you were single in 2006, you were among the 92 million, that's 42 percent of all U.S. residents 18 and older.

If you are a woman like me , you are 54% of the all the singles.
Among which 18% have never been married, 25% are divorced, and 15% are widowed.

The bad news for girls are, the ratio between single men and woman is 86 to 100.
Of all the households nationwide, 44% are maintained by singles, and 27% with a single occupant,

After calculation, I'm among the 9 million. Gosh, will I ever feel alone again...

BTW, as of 2002, there were 904 dating service companies nationwide. Any guess on the number this year?

Mr. Right in 6 weeks - week 4

Week 4 involves quite some work. 118 places to meet him.

Come to think of it, I'm been to more than half of them. Just that when you antenna is tuned, Mr. Right might not show up. I did have some interesting conversations but so far not much luck. Guess I have to be more approachable. I find myself more relaxed with ppl who I have no 'other thoughts'. When I do meet one who makes my heart beat faster, I close up just enough to miss him. Sigh...

If only I'm a guy, I would not miss any chance to go after what I want. I thought it would be easier for girls who are not supposed to make the first move. Time has changed. Should I change too?

Mr. Right in 6 weeks - week 3

Week 2 was not too bad. I think I should keep doing the list of things just to be at my best everyday.
Need to sleep more, exercise more, shopping... I'll pass. My credit card needs some time to recover.

Week 3 is about FEAR. It took me a while to realize as this does not really apply to me. What is there to be afraid of? Just be myself and be curious. I always learn something from my dates. Get to know a stranger in person is like traveling to a new place. It's fascinating. Here is a Chinese saying: The bigger the forest, the more types of birds you'll see. So true...

Sorry I was carried away. So I guess I'll skip week 3 and go straight to week 4. Hold on tight!

Mr. Right in 6 weeks - week 2

I'm a bit behind my schedule. Guess I was having too much fun being with myself. :-)

Ok, here we go:

Week 2 assignment:
Becoming Snow White

Sorry I can't release too much about the assignment. You'll have to read the book to understand. But I'm sure I'll really enjoy what I'm supposed to do this week. Although I'll have to start tomorrow to complete the 8 things on the list. Some a bit weired, but it's the idea that counts. Will I actually change in a week? We'll see.

Mr. Right in 6 weeks - week 1

It's my birthday. A perfect day to start the 6 week plan to get my Mr. Right.
The idea is from the book "Mr. Right, Right Now!". It's not a new book, but I'm giving it a try.

I'm documenting my progress here. Let's see what happens in 6 weeks. :-)

Week 1 assignment:
Forget about man and enjoy myself.
Well, that's not hard, I'm traveling this weekend, a gift from myself for my birthday.
So refreshing!

singleringen

This is a ring designed for singles. According to my friend, it announces: I'm single and I'm proud!

Not a bad idea. I checked out the web site. The look is pretty simple and clean. I think the color is too light for guys. A darker shade of blue would be really popular among them. $70 for a sliver ring is not on the cheap side. It 's the statement that counts:

"By wearing your Singelringen, you declare that it is OK to be single. You may wish to find "the one", or you are quite satisfied with life as it is. Regardless, you will show to everyone that you accept and stand for what you are, an attractive single."

Another interesting add-on is the community. I'm curious about the percentage of ppl who wears it to show that they are available vs those who declare single as a choice.

Products for singles

I visited my friend's new condo apartment on the weekend. He is single too.
The shower curtain in the bathroom is pretty nice. Two layers, sheer fabric on the outside. I was looking for some sheer shower curtain myself. Living alone, see-through curtain is not a problem for me. Lighting is more important. However, the ones with nice patterns are so thick that it would block all the lights from outside and I have to shower in the dark.

It occurred to me that most of the products on the market are designed for family. In addition to see through shower curtains, I also want
easy to prepare food in small portions;
nice china set for one or two persons, not 4 or 6;
smaller car with two seats (almost bought a smart car, if it looks less like a shoe)
hotels for single travelers (like hostel but with better rooms, and a place to mingle)

Some one should take the singles' market seriously and design some cool stuff for singles. Hello, we do have buying power. Maybe that some one should be me.

10 things to do when you are single

Suppose you are willing to consider the possibility that single life can be fantastic. However, when you are eating take-out for dinner alone in your room, you wonder just what is so fabulous about it. Well, here are 10 things do you when you are single. Let me know which ones work best for you.

1. Try something new every day. Walk into an Indian restaurant; buy one of the tropical fruit that looks scary; change the brand of your shampoo; try on the outfit that looks alien to you; listen to a new album in the music store; say good morning to a total stranger. You have no idea what you missed if you never tried. Life if full of surprises.

2. Meditate. You eat and sleep to take care of your body; you meditate to attend to your soul. Meditation balances your physical, emotional and mental states. It actively relaxes your restless mind, so stress and negative thoughts won’t bother you that much. You will feel happier, more focused on the bigger picture.

3. Observe. Did you see where the squirrels hiding their nuts, or the first grass made its way out from the frozen ground? Did you hear the bird chirping this morning, or smell the fresh brewed coffee? When you are by yourself, you can afford to be more observant to your surroundings. Pay a little more attention and you will truly appreciate the small but beautiful things.

4. Cultivate good habits. Want to quit smoking, eat healthy, get up early, stop procrastination… be a better person? Some say you can change instantly, some say if you keep a habit for 4 weeks, you will keep it for life. All you need is to start, now!

5. Keep a journal. It’s all about you, your ups and downs, your thoughts and dreams, your fascinating story. It’s not an essay, write a word, a paragraph, or simply take a picture. Use colorful pens, paint, and doodle. You don’t have to do it everyday. Weekly, monthly, or whenever you feel like it. It’s a good method to reflect, let go, and keep you focused on you goals.

6. Learn a skill. Ever wonder why some people can be so good at certain things, they had training. If they can do it, so can you. It may take you more effort, but if you set a believable goal, it's likely an achievable goal. Reading is a great way to learn. Read extensively. It’s easier to do when you are single without the distractions.

7. Discover your hobbies. Mine are jewelry making and photography. What’s yours? This site has an extensive list of hobbies for you to discover, from songwriting to sky diving. You have so much spare time that the attached people envy. So find something you are passionate about and enjoy doing it.

8. Exercise. I don’t know about you, I have to drag myself to the gym. But every time I finish my workout, I feel so alive. If gym is boring for you, how about walking, cycling, dancing, swimming, skiing, skating? Climbing two flights of stairs or walking 2 miles a day would be enough to keep your body active. Find anything that is going to raise your heartbeat to 100 for 20 minutes. (You might be thinking about something in the bedroom. Well, that counts too.) Do it for your own sake. Remember the last time you were sick? It can be a very miserable experience for singles.

9. Invest. You don’t have to be rich to invest. It’s never too early or too late to start. Find out about different types of investment, stocks, real estate, mutual funds, savings plan, insurance... A financial adviser can help you analyze your risk profile and recommend a balanced investment plan for you. Taking care of your finances will make you independent and confident when facing the unknown future.

10. Make your dreams come true. What is it that you want to do with your partner-to-be, flowers for no reason, a trip to Paris, your own home? Don’t put your life on hold. Go ahead and make it happen. When you are getting the most of life, you become more confident and even more attractive.

Pick one of two things or do them all. You will be too busy having fun your own way to feel lonely. What is on your list?